As we were taking these pictures, Justen said “hey, she’s a quarter of the way to a year!” and I sat there, lip quivering and eyes filling with tears and he knew it was way too soon to talk like that to me.
This month has been emotionally very difficult for me. Not because of Madeleine but because of everything happening in the social media world. At least two fairly public deaths of young children, one who was only two weeks older than my sweet girl. The middle of the night feedings or days of protested naps have never bothered me but now they REALLY don’t bother me. and I have found myself whole heartedly saying, “I am so glad you are awake!” to Madeleine whenever she wakes up from her sleep.
People ask how she is sleeping, and I will forever say she sleeps great because so far she has a 100% wake up rate and that’s what really matters to me. There are moms who would give ANYTHING for one more sleepless night with their babies, and I am not going to take that for granted.
All of that to say, she sleeps great. She wakes up once to eat and every so often when she stirs and I look at our app to see how long its been since she’s had a bottle, it will say EIGHT HOURS.
She’s discovered her hands, she’s started to grasp onto things (like fingers… which is the purest, most special feeling in the world) and this baby can TALK.
This month, I asked Justen to quietly put my breast pump away. I was getting DROPS every time I pumped and seeing it made me feel so guilty for not working harder. My milk never came in and I tried for 2.5 months to produce milk for my baby, and it didn’t work. She doesn’t know any different and so I’m not beating myself up about it anymore.
She loves being naked so whenever I change her diaper, I give her some time to air out and she’ll coo and kick her little legs. When I give her a kiss on the cheek, she’ll quickly turn her head and press her big open mouth to my cheek and start licking my face. It’s messy and sometimes gross but also my favorite thing in the entire world right now.
I still can’t believe she’s real because she is just so wonderful. Happy 3 months of being our sunshine, sweet Madeleine girl.
ps I narrowed down the 80ish pictures I took to these and refused to narrow it down anymore. I’m real sad about the way she’s grown through this sweet little onesie I’ve had for her since before she was born. Look at her wearing it when she was a week old. How was she ever this tiny?! I had to roll the sleeves and the legs and now they look like high waters! (ps it’s from Homegrown Cotton Co and I’m about to buy it again one size up)
The Prologue:
Baby Martian // Week 38
Baby Martian // Week 37
Baby Martian // Week 36
Baby Martian // Week 35
Baby Martian // Week 34
Baby Martian // Week 33
Baby Martian // Week 32
Baby Martian // Week 31
Baby Martian // Week 30
Baby Martian // Week 29
Baby Martian // Week 28
Baby Martian // Week 23
Baby Martian // Week 22
Baby Martian // Week 20
Your comment about Madeleine sleeping great because she woke up really stuck with me. I will have to remind myself that on the sleepless nights with Drew! I also packed up my breast pump this month… breastfeeding was an incredibly draining experience for me (no pun intended LOL.) I felt guilty for quitting when things were “working” but honestly, I am able to enjoy being a mom so much more now! Before I dreaded Drew’s cries because I knew it meant I’d have to nurse him again.